Fail to Fight (Lessons in Love Book 1) Page 10

  My legs quiver as I step from the shower. Will wraps me securely in one of the fluffy white towels big enough for two and whispers, “Go make yourself comfortable baby. I’ll be two steps behind you.” On the night stand, Will’s phone vibrates. He must have put it there while I slept. I steal a glance as I make my way back into bed and notice it’s Amanda calling. It was late for a phone call. Did she know we were meeting tonight?

  A good friend of mine recently returned home to Cedar Ridge. I called her desperately seeking information after I spoke with Will. From what she’d heard, Amanda had walked out, asking that he seek closure with a past love, hoping he would return to her fully. She was tired of his mourning for another woman, but knew he loved her. And he was her world.

  I’d often wondered how they met and how he was able to move on so quickly. Maybe it wasn’t quick, or easy and perhaps he hadn’t moved on properly at all. The past few hours might suggest he was torn between his past love for me and his love for Amanda. I hope to relieve him of this struggle before we part ways this evening.

  Chapter Thirteen ~ Closure

  “Closure happens right after you accept that letting go and moving on is more important than projecting a fantasy of how the relationship could have been.” ~ Unknown

  Chloe

  I allowed Will to devote the next hour to toweling me off and massaging away my aches and pains as I committed the tender touch of his hands to memory. Who was I kidding, one night was never going to be enough for me. But that was a choice no longer available to me. One night was all we had.

  He had a wife to fight for—once we had the closure we both desired.

  “Make love to me, Will,” I said to him, a broken whisper in the still of the early morning.

  Those five words were the last words shared between us as he pulled me beneath him and loved my body mercilessly for hours. The fluorescent lights on the clock on the nightstand showed it was almost four o’clock in the morning when we finished making love in the moonlight. The bright morning sun would soon make its way into our lives, gate crashing a night I never truly wanted to end; dawn threatened to bring us both back to reality.

  A knowing tear fell from my eye as I waited for Will to drift into a heavy slumber. When I was sure he was asleep and unlikely to wake from my movement some time later, I rolled tentatively from his embrace, my legs falling heavily over the side of the bed. I stumbled around the room in a daze, looking for my overnight bag I’d packed for my short stay, then wandered aimlessly throughout the hotel room in search of my clothing.

  Confident I had collected all my belongings, from my purse I pulled a small notebook and let my final words flow, for the man who would forever hold the key to my heart. Regardless of my wrong doing, or his, we were meant to be, until we weren’t.

  I knew all too well that time was of the essence, and while there’s often tomorrow, it would not always be guaranteed, and for that reason, we must choose today to begin again. Time will not always make room for second chances.

  All we truly have is right now.

  *****

  Having left my overnight bag in the baggage area of the lobby, I stepped outside into the early morning air. The heartache hit me like a tsunami. Consumed every tender muscle in my body.

  The tears flowed freely, now painfully aware that I’d had my final moments with Will.

  I was his past and his wife, Amanda, was his now. His future.

  It’s how it should be. But knowing that didn’t settle the pain in my chest.

  Walking toward the riverbank, I thought a walk along the water would help refresh my soul. Ferries full of early risers floated down the river, young couples walked hand in hand along the paths winding throughout the river gardens and birds chirped frivolously from high in the trees.

  Brisbane really was a beautiful place. I decided I would make an effort to get out more and maybe even do an overnight stay in the city from time to time. It was now time to live.

  I was thankful for the closure I needed from last night. Knowing our chemistry and our love for each other was real and remained after all these years put my mind at rest. I wasn’t pining over something fictitious. It was real, but now it was time to move on. Easier said than done, of course. After I worked so hard to put Will behind me, seeing him again brought emotions and feelings to the surface that I never expected to experience again in this lifetime. Hopefully we both gained the closure we needed.

  “Tequila girl!” A voice sounded up ahead in the distance and broke my thoughts. I turned to see a little golden retriever racing toward me, its owner being pulled behind with the lead twisted around his arm.

  “Tequila girl, I thought that was you.” Texas came to a stop abruptly behind his puppy who was leaping joyously all over me.

  “Hi,” I answered, a little stunned. I let the pup bring me out of my solemn state and found a welcoming smile for Tex.

  Tex, who appeared to be jogging shirtless, with his shirt tucked into the back of his running shorts, deserved the brightest of smiles on a dark day. Damn; those abs couldn’t be more defined if they were Photoshopped. Aware of my lingering eyes on his sweaty body, I turned my attention back to the puppy, who was utterly unaware of how hot its owner looked.

  “Seems Rosa has good taste in women too,” he said, catching his breath.

  I patted Rosa behind her ears until she settled at my feet. “You live around here?” I asked the mysterious stranger from the bar last night. It was only then I remembered the card he gave me and realized I hadn’t looked at it to know his name yet.

  “Sure do, only a short drive. I like to bring Rosa here to release some of her energy in the mornings. She keeps me fit.”

  “It certainly looks like it.” I agreed, and thought maybe I should take up running too.

  Tex grinned, appreciating the comment.

  “We usually stop just up around the bend for a light breakfast, care to join us?”

  I pondered the question briefly and thought, why the hell not? I was starving, and not ready to go home to reflect on the evening yet. Besides, Tex was great company.

  “I’d love to,” I answered. “But you should know, I may not be the best company this morning.”

  “Great. We can either talk or not talk then. Completely up to you.” He smiled, prompting Rosa to her feet and steered me in the right direction with his arm lightly resting across the middle of my back.

  He leaned in closely and whispered, “The name’s Sean by the way, and you are…?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. On our way to enjoy our second meal together I figured now was a good time to share our names at least.

  “Nice to meet you, Sean. I’m Chloe,” I whispered in return, extending my hand toward him.

  “Mmm, a sweet name for a beautiful woman.”

  Taking my hand he brings it to his mouth to place a gentle kiss below my wrist.

  Chapter Fourteen ~ Promise Me

  “And I promise you this; no matter who enters your life, I will love you more than any of them.” ~ Unknown

  Will

  The moment I became aware of the sun peeking through the once moonlit window, I immediately felt the loss of her presence. My heart full, my body sated but the air I breathed was now empty, void of the joy Chloe naturally brought to any room she walked into.

  Regretfully I sighed, releasing every negative emotion I felt at that moment and concentrated on the incredible events of our night together. I’d be forever grateful for those moments, the words spoken and the forgiveness exchanged between us. A night of passion, of lessons learned and as Chloe would have it, promises to behold our future.

  I was surprised as I walked out of the room to find the main area of the hotel room much larger than it had felt last night. We could have been anywhere and still all I’d remember is her. And me. Together.

  Without knowing, I’m drawn to the note on the bench. Picking it up with shaky hands, my eyes slowly brows
e over the beautiful handwritten note. I try to imagine Chloe as she might have looked bent over writing her goodbye. I could only hope she was smiling as she slipped through the door and out of my life once again.

  Dear Will,

  I’ll keep this short, with little left to say after last night.

  Mostly, I want to thank you. For giving me the closure I needed. To know you believe I was worth fighting for gives me the strength and belief I need to move forward with life.

  I can only hope you also found what you were looking for, that you now have what you need to move on without looking back.

  My wish for both of us is to begin to live the life we once thought we’d live together, in our own way, with our own families.

  With every great love, comes a lesson we can either choose to file away or use to make our next love even more epic.

  Choose epic, baby. Remember I will love you every day for the rest of my life, but I release the part of you capable of love, to that of your wife. Make your love for her epic, because she deserves all of you. And you, her.

  Promise me you will never fail to fight.

  Forever yours,

  Chloe xx

  She knew. She fucking knew!

  A laugh erupts from me as I fold the note and file it away for safe keeping, placing it in my wallet where I carried Amanda’s note and had hidden my wedding band many months ago. Suddenly everything made sense and I could see clearly for the first time since I last saw Chloe a decade ago.

  “I promise, little one, I promise I will never fail to fight.”

  In my heart, I knew if I didn’t, then all of this would have been for nothing and I couldn’t allow the best part of my life to mean nothing at all.

  Amanda was my now, I’d just failed to fully embrace what we had. I needed last night to rewrite a chapter of my past that I’d held myself captive to for way too long. In doing so, my wife left and I risked my happily ever after. I risked losing her love forever.

  For years Amanda had encouraged me to make contact with Chloe, to seek the closure she too knew I needed. Many nights she’d comforted me back to sleep after waking to the repetitive nightmare of our engagement party. As a result, there were occasions when she’d offered me a pass to spend a night with her if that’s what I needed to get her out of my system, and return to her, to our marriage with the will to fight for what we had. I thought she was outrageous. I don’t share and I’d never expect her to. But this separation, it came with a silver lining.

  Closure.

  I’d never get Chloe out of my system. She was a part of me, ingrained forever in my soul. But she was my past and Amanda was my future. I could see that now and for once, my heart didn’t ache at the thought.

  Amanda had given me the greatest gift. And in return I would gift her with the greatest love a husband could offer.

  Epilogue ~ New Beginnings

  And so the adventure begins.

  Sean

  Six Months Later

  “I’m telling you, man, I will see her again.”

  Mick, my best mate practically since birth, laughed out loud again at my pretentious statement. Words I’d spoken time and again since that night six months ago.

  “Of course you will, man. Maybe you should just take up residency at that Mexican bar, wait for the next time she’s out to meet her ex,” Mick goaded me, eyeing me over the neck of his beer as he sucked down another cold one.

  “Fuck you, brother.”

  Probably not the best time to tell him that while he’s been traveling, I’ve spent every fucking Friday night at that bar hoping for just that. I’ve never been so fucking intrigued by a woman as I was with her. I can’t get her out of my head, and honestly, I thought she would have called by now.

  I couldn’t believe my luck when I ran into her the day after we met. It was the best morning run I’d ever had and we spent the better part of the morning together after breakfast walking around the Southbank markets.

  “Sean, I don’t get it, man. Didn’t you say you had her number?”

  Mick was not used to me talking about chicks, especially a woman I blatantly craved. Anyone who knew me would tell you I was the epitome of the love them and leave them kind of guy. Utterly incapable of love.

  “Like I said, she didn’t willingly give it to me, I dialed my number from her phone while she was in the bathroom the night we met.”

  I watched as he shook his head at me in disgust and disappeared back to the kitchen for more beers. Drinks during the week, Monday to Thursday was not really me, but Mick flew home from Hawaii on Monday and tonight is the first game in the State of Origin series. A clash of the states, where New South Wales and Queensland go head to head in the best football we’ll see all year. Why they have to hold them religiously on a Wednesday night, I’ll never quite understand.

  “Seriously, Mick, I know it’s fucking insane, especially for me. But the moment I saw her sitting at that bar, I knew, I just fucking knew that one day I would make her mine. If only for the night, she’d be mine.”

  I knew even more so after the time we spent together the next morning, that I needed to see her again. She explained the events of the night before, or at least the parts she was willing to share and I understood she needed time to process all of that. I struggled to give her the space I promised, but I did make it clear I wanted to see her again.

  Six months on and I still hadn’t heard from her. I had started to wish I’d never told her the ball was in her court. If we hadn’t parted with the agreement that she would call if and when she was ready, I would have called her the next fucking day.

  “Drink up, dude,” Mick said, passing me a beer. “The boys will be here soon, I don’t want you crying into your skirt over some girl.”

  The bastard doubled over, pissing himself laughing at my expense and I couldn’t help but laugh with him. It was pretty fucking pathetic after all.

  The pocket of my jeans started to vibrate, pulling me from my laughing fit. My hand froze over the slide-to-answer bar as I register the words flashing across the screen.

  Tequila Girl.

  Chloe.

  Coming Next...

  Maci is currently working on a Christmas ménage called “Twice Unwrapped” but if you would also like to read Sean & Chloe’s story in 2017 titled, ‘Fail to Love’, please let her know at macidillon@gmail.com.

  Acknowledgements

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  To my three amazing children, thank you! I couldn’t have done this without you. You’ve missed out on so many hours with me these past few months and had to fend for yourselves while I’ve worked crazy hours and still tried to publish a book in between. It amazes me that you do it all without complaint, offering words of encouragement towards my dream every day. I love each of you more than life itself. Xx

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  R, my dream would never have been possible if it weren’t for you, I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done and continue to do to support me. Xx

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  Gwen, I don’t even know where to begin. You were my very first connection in the Indie Author world and I thank my lucky stars every day that I stumbled across your work. More importantly, I’m grateful for your friendship, your inspiration and encouragement. Remember how you received the first copy of Will and Chloe’s story? LOL. You pushed me to make their story what it is today, I truly couldn’t have done it without you. I hope I’ve done you proud! Thank you always for your belief in me. No words can say how much I appreciate you. Xx

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  Kathleen, woman I am lost for words. I believe paths cross for a reason and we may not know why exactly but I’ve learned to appreciate the moments in life when this happens. You’ve made my world a better place. I can’t image my life without you and SL. For everything you’ve done for me, please know how much I love and appreciate you. Both of you. I look forward to working with you long into the future. Xx

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  Cherie, you’re like my sister from another mother. I adore you and your dirty mind. You keep me sane and let me play terrible pool with you LOL. Without you managing most LLEP’s blog promotion and our entire review team, it would have been necessary to give up my blog baby to bring my book baby into the world. You’ve made it possible for me to have both and I can’t thank you enough for that. Your continued support and encouragement in all areas of my life means the world to me. I couldn’t think of a better person to have in my corner. Xx

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  To my beta readers – Gwen, Megan, Cherie, Robyn, Tara, Belinda, Kylie – Thank you! You each helped make this book what it is today. I can’t thank you enough for your time and valued feedback. Each of you challenged me to go deeper and without you, Will and Chloe’s story would have been nothing more than words on paper. You helped me bring it alive. Xx

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  Trish Bacher – My editing queen and devil’s advocate. Where on earth do I start? You went over and beyond for me. I know I made your life hell, missing deadline after deadline but I’m so grateful you stuck by me and saw me through this journey. When I believed I couldn’t take this story any deeper you pushed me even further. Thank you for believing in Will and Chloe enough to ensure their whole story was told. I hope I did them justice. Thank you, lady, you rock! Xx

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  My special author friends, Megan Fields, Ann Grech, T Cupak and many, many more, thank you for your friendship, constant encouragement and motivation. And your belief that I could eventually do this! Xx

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  To my Minxes, many of you have been with me for over a year now waiting ever so patiently for me to choose a WIP and see it through to completion. Thank you for your patience. You all inspire me to grow and breathe life into my dirty imagination. Thank you always for being by my side and helping to promote my name and this book to the masses. I heart you always. Xx