Fail to Fight (Lessons in Love Book 1) Read online

  “You deserve it, little one,” he replies, placing a kiss on the top of my head before lowering me to the ground. He walks to the table and pours a glass of wine for each of us, handing one to me, he declares, “A piece of paradise for the love of my life.”

  My mouth falls open but I was insanely lost for words. We toast again and sample the wine, one of the richest Sauvignon Blanc’s I’d ever tasted.

  Will placed our glasses behind him on the table then stood before me, cupping my face in his hands.

  “You, Chloe, are the most amazing woman I have ever met. From the first moment I saw you, I knew I wanted you. Needed you.”

  Tears of joy well in my eyes; my heart bursting at the seams. Will releases my face and takes my hand, lowering himself before me until he rests on one knee.

  Oh. My. God. He isn’t? Fuck yes, he is!

  “You instantly became the piece of me I never knew was missing, Chloe. All my dreams, my goals, my desires in life came alive when you entered my world. There’s never been a moment of doubt that you are the one for me. My one and only.”

  A tear escaped, its warmth caressing my skin as I stood intrigued by the most amazing man before me, kneeling on the sand reaching into the pocket of his jeans, soaked from the knee down. My body shook. I was in shock, totally surprised and overwhelmed.

  “Will,” I whispered, bringing my free hand to cover my mouth in an attempt to contain my excitement as he exposed a small pouch.

  “I promise to love you for eternity, to treat you as my queen, to treasure and nurture you with all that I am. I give my whole self to you, Chloe.” Will opens the jewelry pouch and pours its contents into the palm of his hand. A large, one carat, square cut diamond shines in the moonlight. I gasp, totally lost for words. Taking the ring between his fingers, he reaches for my left hand.

  “The greatest gift you could ever give me, Chloe, is your love in return. To trust me with your whole self; today, tomorrow and forever.” Positioning the ring over the tip of my wedding finger, he continued, “Make me the happiest man alive. Say you’ll marry me, Chloe.”

  I shrieked, “Yes, Will, yes!”

  He was barely able to push the ring onto my finger before I fell to the sand and crashed into him, kissing the man of my dreams, my forever, through tears of sheer love and joy.

  We are waiting until I turn eighteen early next year before we get serious about setting a date. There’s no hurry, we have the world at our feet and eternity on our side, but we wanted a baby. Not right now, but soon.

  Recently we’d been busy planning our engagement party and deciding whether to book a cruise for my eighteenth birthday. I’d also been caught up with extra work commitments after winning the ‘Intern of the Year’ award. There was never a dull moment in our lives.

  “I love you, little one,” Will whispered in my ear as the audience at the fence turned to make their way to their usual spot by the betting ring, bar or grandstand seating, now that the race was over.

  At that moment, a photographer walked up and asked to take our picture for the local paper. We embraced the opportunity to show off our love to the public. “What names shall we print with the picture?” the photographer asked, taking out his notepad after he’d captured the photo.

  “Will Jamieson and Chloe Lee, soon to be Jamieson,” Will offered proudly.

  The photographer smiled and nodded. “Congratulations to you both.” And off he wandered into the crowd.

  Will grabbed my hand and led me toward a semi-hidden corridor at the secluded end of the establishment. “I can’t wait until tonight,” he told me as I followed willingly.

  He slammed my back against the wall and covered my body with his much larger frame when we reached a point hidden from wandering eyes. “The sound of your soon-to-be name makes my cock so fucking hard for you, Chloe,” he growls. Possessing my mouth unapologetically, he devours my whimpers and with precision slips his hand beneath my dress to pull my panties to the side.

  Panting with need and already oblivious to anyone who might walk past and spot us, I happily spread my legs to allow him to work his magic. I would never deny him. I couldn’t. He owned me; mind, body and soul. And he knew it.

  Two fingers deep inside my soaking pussy, I grind myself against his hand. The heat of his kisses trail down my neck, across my collarbone and make their way to the tops of my breasts, driving me wild. His erection was hard against my midsection as he seduced me, almost to my knees. The harder he pumped his fingers, the louder I moaned until he took my mouth again and fucked me senseless with his tongue.

  In less than a minute I came completely undone around him, pulling at the short lengths of his dark hair, sucking at his tongue as I rode out my orgasm over his fingers. This man could take me anywhere, and the result was always the same. I couldn’t get enough of him.

  Swaying in my moment of ecstasy I started to unbuckle his belt to release the button on his jeans. I could feel how badly he needed a release too.

  “Fuck, little one. You’re so goddamn beautiful,” Will whispered into the cusp of my neck.

  The pocket of his shirt started to vibrate, he ignored it or didn’t notice as I took out his cock and began to stroke it. When it started again only seconds after it ended, I grabbed the phone and handed it to him. I slowly began to slide down the wall until I was crouched before him. Will watched with raw hunger in his eyes as I came to rest my ass on my heels to avoid marking my bare knees on the concrete floor.

  I teased the tip of his cock with my tongue, his groan making my core wetter. “Answer it, Will.” The phone still buzzed in his hand. He groaned with displeasure and flicked open the phone. “Jamie, what’s up?” he breathed heavily into the phone as I took him deep into my mouth.

  I could vaguely hear Jamie laughing on the other end. “You, I’m guessing. Can’t you leave that poor woman alone for thirty minutes, man? Get your ass here, it’s your turn to buy drinks, and we’re thirsty fuckers.”

  Will grunted, slammed the phone shut and clutched my head while he guided himself in and out of my mouth with perfect, even strokes.

  It was no secret, our sexual appetite for each other. Even if we’d wanted to, we couldn’t hide it. We were in love.

  Will was my drug.

  His moans grew louder, and his hold on my head tighter. He was close. I could taste the pre-come when I flicked my tongue seductively in and out of the small opening at the tip. I pumped my fist up his length as I toyed with the head of his cock, licking, sucking and finally taking him all the way to the back of my throat.

  A deep growl rose from his chest and he began to drive his cock into my mouth at a fast pace. I loved giving head, it was the only time he allowed me complete control.

  “That’s it, baby, yes,” Will panted. “I’m gonna blow.” I sucked harder and moaned around his cock until he emptied his load into me. Licking my lips, I looked at him from beneath hooded eyes.

  “So, I heard you’re buying,” I teased.

  He chuckled, pulled me upright, helped me realign my outfit and buckled himself up. Satisfied, for now, we headed back to our friends at the bar. They were more than used to us disappearing.

  How did I get so lucky?

  Will is everything I had ever dreamed of. Charming, witty, sporty, commanding of attention—especially in the bedroom, and deliriously sexy. Most days when I woke I needed to pinch myself to ensure I wasn’t dreaming.

  Our life together was fast paced. At the beginning of the year I was offered an internship at a local advertising agency after completing an accelerated learning program which effectively combined my senior years of high school. It was my dream job. Some would say everything fell into my lap this year, but I worked hard and earned every achievement. Will was the senior sales leader for one of the largest commercial refrigeration companies in southeast Australia and often traveled away. We could have easily grown apart, but we always made time for each other. Even in the busiest of times
, we never failed to reserve the best of ourselves for our intimate moments. A romantic dinner, a surprise weekend getaway, a night of lovemaking under the stars. The memories were endless.

  Will wore the tough guy act incredibly well, he liked to fight and was often too protective of those he loved, but underneath he was a true romantic.

  And I was the luckiest woman alive.

  Chapter Three ~ Regret

  Fear will pass but regrets last forever ~ Unknown

  Will

  Ten Years Ago – February 2006

  What the fuck have I done?

  I staggered back into town from the party, fleeing the scene as soon as I registered my actions. Everyone raced to attend to Chloe when she hit the dirt and didn’t move. Jamie stormed toward me, fierce and unrelenting like wild fire, landing an uppercut on my jaw before he too raced to Chloe’s side.

  “Get the fuck outta here, man!” he yelled in my direction.

  I was terrified. Not for me, but for Chloe. Her body crumbled lifelessly beneath the impact of my fist. Rage had consumed me and I failed to contain it. It all happened so fast. The vision of her lying there on the gravel, so still, made my stomach churn. I was horrified. I backed away from the crowd, wiping my swollen and bloodied lip on my shirt collar. I needed space to deal with what had unfolded. With what I had done.

  I fucking hit her! I don’t understand. How could I do that? And why? Because her and Jamie were engaged in a private conversation? Or because he was the one to hold back her hair while she vomited in the garden? I didn’t even know she’d been feeling unwell. What does that say about me? I’m a fucking jealous cunt, that’s why I lashed out. The green-eyed monster wormed its way into my life and I let it dictate my actions. I fucking love Chloe. Nobody, especially not her, deserved to be treated that way.

  I continued to walk toward town, disorientated. Confused. I stare down at my grazed knuckles covered in Chloe’s blood as I passed under a street light. Fear, guilt and alcohol mixed with my confusion, my pain and inner turmoil. I darted to the edge of the long grass and heaved uncontrollably. My body began to shake. Shock set in.

  My heart shattered. The scream of the sirens as the ambulance raced by me on the highway etched into my soul. I walked for what felt like hours before I finally found myself at the hospital. I threw my phone into the bushes somewhere along the way, frustrated by the constant calls and messages demanding to know where I was. With only one local hospital, I knew I’d find her there. When I reached her room, she was still unconscious, yet to wake to the devastating reality. Doctors and nurses hovered over her assessing the damage, making notes and ordering tests.

  Tubes ran from her arms and her nose, blood soaked bandages lay beside her where they worked on cleaning up the trauma to her head.

  I had done that. I hurt her. Hurt of the worst kind.

  I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window of the emergency room. I was a fucking wreck. But at least I was awake.

  It should have been me lying there in that hospital bed, not Chloe. I didn’t even recognize myself.

  “Will Jamieson.” Uniformed police officers walk toward me from further down the corridor. Behind them stood Jamie, one of my best mates, and his father. Had they traveled with her in the ambulance?

  Jamie’s parents graciously offered to host our engagement party tonight. They owned riverside acreage on the north side of Cedar Ridge and Chloe loved it out there. It was one of her favorite places to go and unwind when we had nothing on. She enjoyed the outdoors and found the sweeping views of the river, set against the mountains in the distance, to be a place of true serenity. It gutted me, knowing it would never hold the same meaning after tonight.

  I stared past the officer calling my name to Jamie who returned my stare with disgust.

  “Will, I’m going to have to ask you to accompany me to the station.” He couldn’t be serious. I wasn’t going anywhere. Chloe needed me. I needed to be here, to make sure she pulled through this okay.

  “Later. I need to be with Chloe right now.”

  “Sir, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said the female officer, taking a step forward. She might be right, but unless they were arresting me, I wasn’t moving. “I doubt she’ll want to see you when she first wakes up.”

  I lift my chin in Jamie’s direction. “I suppose he fucking called you, did he?”

  “It has been brought to our attention that you may have been involved in the incident that brought Chloe here tonight,” the officer stated, ignoring my question. “However, we do need to take your statement.”

  “Seems you’ve been filled in enough already, not sure what else you wanna know,” I remarked rudely, turning back toward Chloe’s room.

  The senior constable spoke up for the first time. “It’s protocol for the paramedics to pass on incidents such as these. We need to assess the situation, take your statement, and should we deem it a necessary course of action, there may be assault charges brought against you.” Charges? Fuck! All I could think about right now was Chloe, surely they could deal with me later.

  Frustration grew and the officers surrounding me exchanged knowing glances when I offered no response.

  The female officer added, “As Chloe is a minor, and this appears to be a domestic violence matter, you should know that we have full control over issuing a domestic violence order which may prevent you from any form of contact with Chloe for some time.”

  Chloe turned eighteen next month, at which time I guessed she would have the right to speak for herself when she woke up. Fuck! I deserved to go to hell for this, but I couldn’t be kept away from her. She needed to know how fucking sorry I was.

  “It’s in your best interest to cooperate, son. We’ll keep an eye on Chloe for you.” Jamie’s dad, Peter, came to stand by me, a look of concern laced with dislike in his eyes.

  I exhale a heavy breath and surrender reluctantly. The team of officers walk me toward the exit. I hang my head low, embarrassed and angry at myself for the situation. As we pass the nurses station, the senior officer addresses one of the nurses. “Please ensure Mr. Jamieson here is refused any access to or contact with Chloe Lee in room 14 until further notice.” The nurse agrees and scribbles a note down. “We will have an officer back here to sit by her door within the next hour.”

  “You can’t be fucking serious?” I yell back at him.

  “Dead serious, now keep walking.”

  Doors burst open and a gush of warm air wafts into the emergency waiting room as we neared the exit.

  Chloe’s dad rushes through the door.

  His steps falter when he sees me. He charges at me, nostrils flaring and fists closed in anger at his side. Seemingly oblivious to the police officers at my side until two of them advanced on him. “You fucking bastard,” he spewed at me through gritted teeth as the officers held him back. “I fucking trusted you, you cowardly prick.” Fingers pointed at me like poisoned darts, with each word adding a layer to the knot twisting in my chest.

  “You better pray she pulls through this in one piece.” Chloe’s father twisted free from the officers’ hold and pushes past us toward the front desk. I watched with regret as he asked for directions on where to find his daughter.

  Chloe’s parents had recently separated and with all the uncivilized drama going on between them, she had insisted on inviting neither of them to the engagement party. Instead she had arranged for us to celebrate with each of them separately. Her mother was currently traveling out west and I was amazed to see her father was sober enough to make the hour drive from their property into town.

  After an hour or two at the police station, I was escorted home. To the home I shared with Chloe. I tore the home phone from the socket when it wouldn’t stop ringing, bolted the doors shut and pulled the blinds. It was now early hours of the morning and I didn’t have it in me to deal with anyone.

  I narrowly escaped assault charges but was promised a visit on Monday, whe
n I was to be served with a domestic violence order. Time would tell what stipulations were imposed by the court. I could only hope and pray that seeing Chloe wasn’t going to be an issue. I needed to see her. To apologize. I had to at least try to make things right again.

  I had no idea the extent of Chloe’s injuries, nor when she would be coming home from hospital. I had been ordered by the police to pack my belongings and leave the premises, our home, within two days to ensure I was not present when she was released. Would she even want to return here after this? She would never forgive me. Nor should she. I’m a fucking monster.

  *****

  Two Months Later – April 2006

  “Will, stop!” Jamie’s screams pull me from my deep slumber. I wake to find myself alone in my room. Another dream. A recurring nightmare of that night. No amount of alcohol kept them at bay. Every morning I still woke with a heavy heart and less hope that I’d ever hear from her again. Months have passed and still not a word from her. I’m not surprised, but I held onto hope with all that I had left.

  Relationships were strained at work, especially with Chloe’s father. It was difficult for us both when I returned to work shortly after, but we agreed to put our personal differences aside.

  I kept my distance from my mates, preferring to dwell in my own self-pity and personal loathing. While they were loyal to me, they turned their backs on Chloe. It made me sick. She didn’t deserve to have her world ripped further apart and I didn’t deserve their support. More than ever, Chloe needed people in her life right now. People she could trust.

  A few weeks prior to the party there were rumors that Chloe had taken some guy home from town while I was traveling for work. Chloe had been struggling with her parents’ separation, she’d started to withdraw and emotional outbursts replaced her usual laughter and easy going attitude. We’d shut down the rumors of course, what did or didn’t happen was none of anybody’s business, but unfortunately some chose to use those rumors as an excuse for my actions. It wasn’t. There was no fucking excuse. My insecurities may have been fueled by the rumors, but the fact I let them fester into a rage at the party was not Chloe’s fault. My actions were my own.